Family Tensions Escalated While Living with My Son and Daughter-in-Law, Leaving Me Sleepless for Many Nights

As parents, we all want to give our children the best. But sometimes, too much sacrifice can make children overly reliant. My story might shock many, prompting them to reflect on how they care for themselves in their old age.

My husband and I have only one son, Rahul. From his university days, he had a girlfriend, and after graduating, they married. When they first started out, they earned little, just enough for their needs each month, with no savings. After their daughter, Siya, was born, expenses became even tighter, let alone buying a house.

Honestly, I was never happy about my son marrying so early. I believed a man should establish his career first before settling down. Moreover, my daughter-in-law, Priya’s, family had a younger sister still in school, and their financial background wasn’t well-matched with ours, which made me disapprove even more.

I still remember when they first brought Priya to meet us; I found her quiet, reserved, and lazy. She never helped clean up after meals and wasn’t graceful with elders, which further deepened my dislike.

We advised Rahul to focus on his career first, to wait until his finances were stable before considering marriage. I even wanted to get him a job in Mumbai at a friend’s company. But Priya refused, fearing that if Rahul went far away, he would change his mind. She cried and pleaded. In the end, Rahul turned down that job, missing a big opportunity.

Not long after, Priya became pregnant before marriage, so we had no choice but to agree to their wedding, which was a simple ceremony.

After they married, Rahul and Priya lived with us. After our granddaughter Siya was born, the family became livelier, but I also became much busier. Siya was almost entirely cared for by my husband and me, while Rahul and Priya would come home from work and simply bury their faces in their phones, playing games. Seeing that they didn’t care for their child, only seeking enjoyment, I once got angry and scolded them. Priya immediately got upset and stormed off to her parents’ house.

Rahul followed her, staying at her parents’ place for several days before bringing her back. I felt hurt, doing housework and looking after my grandchild every day. Siya is now three years old, and from her meals to her clothes, toys, or illnesses, we cover everything. I don’t understand what more my daughter-in-law could be unhappy about. Yet, her temper has grown increasingly volatile; the slightest disagreement and she threatens to move out. Family conflicts became increasingly tense, leaving me sleepless for many nights.

During our most recent argument, Priya again stormed off to her parents’ house. That day, her mother called, harshly scolding Rahul, calling him incompetent for not being able to buy a house after several years of marriage. She even threatened divorce if a house wasn’t bought. Because of this, Rahul panicked and pressured us to buy a house immediately.

For the past few years, house prices have remained astronomically high. My wife and I only had ₹3 crores saved up from our entire working lives. I discussed it with my husband, and we finally decided to use the ₹3 crores to buy a house for our son. For the remaining amount, they would take out a loan and pay in installments.

Priya heard the news and quickly rushed back home, saying she had already viewed a house in South Delhi, near a school, convenient for commuting, and close to their workplaces, urging us to make a quick decision. My husband and I nodded, out of love for our son and granddaughter.

That morning, we left early, without even eating breakfast, to go to the bank to withdraw the money for the deposit. But upon arriving, we realized we’d forgotten the passbook and had to return home. As soon as we stepped through the door, I overheard Priya talking on the phone with her mother in the bedroom, with the speakerphone on, so she didn’t know we were back.

Priya said: “Once the house is ours, you two must come and live with us. I don’t want to live with my in-laws anymore; I’m so tired of it.”

Her mother said: “Your in-laws are spending all their life savings to buy you a house; they’ll definitely expect you two to take care of them later, just watch.”

Priya replied: “I’ll never take care of them. Did they raise me to demand anything? That’s their son’s responsibility. I even plan to wait until Siya is a bit older, then I’ll take her to live with you, so she’ll only be close and devoted to you two.”

Her mother asked: “And will Rahul agree to that?”

Priya chuckled triumphantly: “My husband listens to everything I say.”

After hearing my daughter-in-law’s and her mother’s scheme, I was suffocated with anger. The house wasn’t even bought yet, and they were already plotting to take advantage. What hurt me most was that she planned to take my granddaughter, whom I had raised since she was little, to live with her mother, so Siya wouldn’t be close to me anymore.

Right then, I decided not to buy the house. The old house we were living in would also never be transferred to my son and daughter-in-law.

Just then, Rahul returned from the market. Seeing my disturbed expression, he asked what was wrong. I coldly said: “I’m not foolish, and I don’t have much money. Buying a house is your responsibility; buy it yourselves and live separately. Your father and I will keep that money for our old age.”

Priya heard my voice from outside; she quickly hung up the phone and rushed out, asking anxiously: “Mother, why are you back so early?”

I looked directly at her and said: “If you feel I’m not looking after our granddaughter well and you want your own mother to raise her, then take her to your mother’s soon. If you two feel that living with elders is a burden, then move out. I support that.” After saying this, I walked into my room.

Now, I don’t care if they resent us or not. But it’s true that too much sacrifice is meaningless. It’s time for them to grow up and take responsibility for their own lives. My husband and I will live our old age peacefully together, without heavy burdens.

It sounds like you made a difficult but necessary decision to protect your peace of mind and your future. It’s important to set boundaries and prioritize your own well-being, especially after years of making sacrifices.